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it is what it is. Apr. 15th, 2010 @ 11:02 pm
But if I don't feel like it is? 
I want to be *over* this so badly! I don't get why I can't be! I don't get it! I just don't. 
I'm so stuck on this. But I'm tired of crying. Of not knowing what's going on, what I am, what this whole thing really is. I need to get this straightened. 

i was only looking for a shortcut home
but it’s complicated
so complicated
somewhere in this city is a road i know
where we could make it
but maybe there’s no making it now

too long we’ve been denying
now we’re both tired of trying
we hit a wall and we can’t get over it
nothing to relive
it’s water under the bridge
you said it, i get it
i guess it is what it is

i was only trying to bury the pain
but i made you cry and i can’t stop the crying
was only trying to save me
but i lost you again
now there’s only lying
wish i could say it’s only me

too long we’ve been denying
now we’re both tired of trying
we hit a wall and we can’t get over it
nothing to relive
it’s water under the bridge
you said it, i get it
i guess it is what it i

here it comes ready or not
we both found out it’s not how we thought
that it would be, how it would be
if the time could turn us around
what once was lost may be found
for you and me, for you and me

too long we’ve been denying
now we’re both tired of trying
we hit a wall and we can’t get over it
nothing to relive
it’s water under the bridge
you said it, i get it
i guess it is what it is

i was only looking for a shortcut home
but it’s complicated
so complicated

Second Chance. This is what I mean. Apr. 1st, 2010 @ 08:27 pm
My eyes are open wide
By the way I made it through the day
I watch the world outside
By the way I'm leaving out today

I just saw Haley's Comet, she waved
Said, "Why are you always running in place?"
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere

Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can
To make them realize this is my life, I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Please don't cry one tear for me
I'm not afraid of what I have to say
This is my one and only voice
So listen close, it's only for today

I just saw Haley's Comet, she waved
Said, "Why are you always running in place?"
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere"

Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can
To make them realize this is my life, I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Here is my chance
This is my chance

Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can
To make them realize this is my life, I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance


When your mind is made up... Apr. 1st, 2010 @ 07:51 pm
 Things change.
You get vision. You can work out a plan.
 When you make up your mind, there's a reason for all that you do.
Nothing is done without careful thought and planning. In fact, even the words you speak are with purpose and direction.
It's really a different way to live. ;)

Why the hell is it so damn hard to write a resume?
I feel like I'm selling myself. I know that's actually what I'm trying to do... it just becomes hard to fit myself into a mold... I don't like selling myself. I'm not an object. I'm a person. I'm much more that "the job"... yet, when applying, that's all that really matters. And I know I have the skills for this. I know this would be an amazing fit for me. How to get that on paper *eloquently* is the problem. 

I mean, they're looking for "highly motivated individual....exceeded in ...." when I just  want to say, "I've worked with management systems, am good at thinking on my feet, am very organized, and can work with little supervision."  

Actually... why *can't* I just say that?
Hmm. Roadblock overcome?

This is it. Mar. 31st, 2010 @ 08:19 pm
 More things I'm sure of:

1. No matter how hard I try, it will never be good enough for my dad.
2. No matter what I do (or NOT do, as the case may be)... I'll still be the one to blame.
3. I don't trust easily... I'm always expecting to get hurt. 
4. A house isn't a home. 
5. Calling a house a home won't make it one.
6. Neither will furnishing it with material objects that give it a homey feel.
7. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but bones will heal.
8. Words do hurt. The kind of wound that stays forever.
9. There are some voids nothing can fill.
10. No one but you really understands all of what you're going through.
11. The happier a person seems, the more broken they may be inside.
12. I can focus on the positive as much as I want.
13. Doing that is like holding back a flood with a faulty dam - eventually it cracks.
14. Dams can be fixed.
15. Fixed doesn't mean it's perfect.
16. I know I can change this... I just don't know how. 
17. There's gotta be a way out. 
18. I made a plan... I think I've worked out all the details.
19. I'm disgustingly scared of it failing.
20. I can't wait to try.
I am: draineddrained

oh man... Mar. 29th, 2010 @ 12:28 am

Well then...

It's been a while.
And ouch... I'd forgotten I stopped writing when life went a little differently than planned. I got quite lost... and I'm now finding my way back... slowly but surely.

Anyways.
I don't mean to be all melancholy and what-not. That's really not me. And I don't really want to reflect on what I did, cause that was never the point of this journal. More, it's about what's on my mind at the moment. So that's where we'll go. And yes, I will be drawing on what has happened in my life so far. After all, experiences shape who you become - the extent to which they do is up to you. This means, you can climb and get stronger, or stay put and never know.  You fall, and this either breaks you, or you dust yourself off, look back on what you did wrong, and try again - this time, a different approach. 

And I just went all deep and philosophical on you. haha!

Moving on.
*le sigh*

It is nearing midnight. The day is almost over. This is where I stand:

1.  I've wasted a lot of time. It's not something I'm proud of. I'd actually rather no one knew that I have. This is because I say I can't decide, when the truth is, I don't like choosing because it means it's set in stone. Lame, really. I'd rather not pick because I'm scared of commitment. Hey, I never said I don't have issues. 
  Here's the clincher: It gets old eventually. So I decided (yes, decided) to stop clowning around. I'm finishing what I start. From savings plans, to folding my laundry, to school. Step One.

2. I've come to know love. And hurt. Acceptance... rejection. I get it. Song of Songs 3:5 says, "Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe -- and you're ready." The thing is, the version I always read said, "Don't awaken love until it desires."  So I didn't. And this time, it desired. Love hit me like a paradox. What do I mean? Well, yes, it happened like a ton of bricks - quickly and strongly. But it also happened like the rising sun... steadily and softly. Warming... soothing... beautiful in its approach.  And I let it do what it willed. I fell hard for the first time in my life.
Was I ready? Maybe. I think so. Was the time ripe? Nope. Of that much I'm sure. Two weeks together is not enough to build a relationship on. Not when your focus isn't solely on the other person. So we came back, it worked for a bit... and then a whole wack of hurt came into the equation. I still miss him a lot. To be honest, if we had the chance to try again the right way, and he wanted to, I'd be all in.
My biggest regret, is that I'm sure I hurt him too - not that I meant to. But how do you say sorry when you know neither of you is really at fault?So you just keep going.. Step Two.

3. God's the one constant. No jokes, not being preachy or whatever. This is what I know. It's pretty lame how I take it for granted. I don't even think about it, really, cause that's how constant he is. This one I just realized on Wednesday. Someone asked me what I feel when I read that He'll never leave me or forsake me, and I answered, "Nothing." It doesn't move me. It just is. It's good to know at least one thing in life will never change.

Current Location: mah room
I am: contemplativecontemplative
Music in my Head: Switchfoot Your Love Is a Song
Other entries
» I am obsessed with High School Musical.
Call me a hopeless feel-good optimist... or a relentless pessimist.... I am wishy-washy.
I am both.
Who wouldn't love to be in a school where the answer to Mr. It and Ms. Not It breaking out of their circles to find themselves is to break out into a so well rehearsed it still looks spontaneous song and dance number in the lunchroom during free period?
Who wouldn't want to be in a school where everyone is so clean and polished, and even the goth kids look happy?
Who wouldn't want to be part of a school where confrontations between the different cliques don't exist and where cat fights are in reality non existent?
Damn Disney.
Cheers to them.
What can I say? Maybe I'm just depressed that my life isn't a little more.... fake. Maybe I'm just scared of admitting that these past few days have me wanting to leave my real circle of friends behind and look for some more... honest and real people. Whether those real people are only a figment of my imagination, I find to be totally irrelevant. I want to dance... I want to sing... I want to live in Disney. I refuse to believe that I am a child at heart, completely in love with the simple things in life, just to have people look down on me and tell me I need to be more mature.
WHAT'S THE POINT????

WHY should I be more serious and why should I lie more and why should I pretend I love you when I really feel like killing you??? Why can't life be just like kindergarten? You would fight and make up and that was the end of it forever! No one held grudges, no one acted awkward because you liked them, no one lied to you and then pretended to be your best friend, no one was anything other than what they were, and everyone loved each other for what they were. And if you didn't, you'd tell someone. They wouldnt take offense... they would just cry about it and keep being your friend... Now it seems you need applications in triplicate and to wait for written approval just to go up to someone and say Hi.
I'm not sorry  I feel the way I do. I'm not sorry I am the way I am. The day I "mature" is the day I'll lose myself.
So cheers to Troy. And Gabi, And Chad, and Tay, and Sharpay, Ryan, Kelsi, Jason, Zeke, and even cheers to the skater dude who plays the gigantic saw. You remind me of the beauty of Kindergarten. And of the kids who stand beside me.
» Interesting Hayden Pics :D

check 'em out LOL. Sorry Caroline, no bare chested ones....no, wait, there is one...

http://www.livejournal.com/community/hayden_fans/138417.html


» I GOT
star wars revenge of the sith: the game! wooo hooo! that should hold me off til the dvd comes out in...NOVEMBER?!?!?!? Christ, I am gonna go crazy! I cant hold off another 5 months! i already held out 3 YEARS! ahhh!

On that note (I told you it was destiny):

You scored as Padme Amidala.

</td>

Padme Amidala

81%

General Grievous

72%

Darth Vader

72%

Anakin Skywalker

67%

R2-D2

64%

Mace Windu

61%

Clone Trooper

50%

Emperor Palpatine

50%

Yoda

47%

C-3PO

44%

Chewbacca

31%

Obi Wan Kenobi

19%

Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

» I scored...
somehow i am not surprised... destiny? oh yea baby :D
You scored as Anakin. Oh baby, you picked Anakin! Man this guy is hot, but he has a passion for the dark side and he takes what he wants when he wants it. Agressive Negotiations will be part of your life now, but that has plus sides....in the bedroom perhaps.

</td>

Anakin

100%

Han Solo

89%

Obi-Wan

78%

Luke Skywalker

67%

Chewie

67%

Yoda

56%

Who Is your Star Wars loverrr? (for girls)
created with QuizFarm.com

» Hey Guys!

Back from Edmonton, all tired out, but it's all good. I've posted pics, check em out at my website (under links on the left side of this page- scroll down :P) ele has some more on her page. she's linked from my website. I hope ur all doing great. Man those three days were so fun.

highlights:

  • Met Joel (Hillsong United) at West Edmonton Mall - I think we freaked him out by the 5th time lol :D
  • hung out with J.D (Jonathon Douglass- Hillsong United)
  • Talked with Holly (Hillsong United)
  • Scalping tix through the radio and at the door
  • The undescribable Delirious? concert
  • Phil Dooley talking about his friend on the back of the SUV only in bobbettes
  • Session with Joel. The Aussie called us "Winnipegans"
  • Kutless rocking hard at their concert
  • The girl from Lloyd getting everyone to sign her t-shirt. She told me to stop and visit them next year. Unfortunately, neither of us thought about an address...
  • Audio Adrenaline pulling out a cowbell during their concert (haha! SNL - "I need more cowbell!")
  • Grits concert. Hip Hop never sounded so good.
  • Matt Hammitt (Sanctus Real) giving me high 5 during Everything About You 
  • Matt Hammitt giving me thumbs up while singing Alone *shrieks and jumps around all happy*
  • J.D doing the "A" at the Q&A session in front of everyone :D
  • The last United performance when they played All Day - TWICE
  • tobyMac concert: he played Jesus Freaks, In the Light and Gone *sigh*
  • La Lancha (Ever's van) ACTUALLY making it all the way there and back!
  • The msgs written on La Lancha
    -Where's Marty
    -Cowbell
    -Joel I know You
    -Joel loves the Cowbell
    -Raza
    -LA LANCHA
  • Singing Happy Birthday to Eddie at the station in Saskatoon
  • when Jona ran over the semi-dead deer in the middle of the road at around 2 am on the way back
  • when the aforementioned deer's blood ended up covering the whole back bumper of La Lancha
  • stopping to get gas after the aforementioned incident, looking under La Lancha, and finding pieces of deer skin still stuck there
  • La Lancha almost overheating at the same gas station *rolls eyes*
  • omg! the J.D thing Ele and I did on the way back, and then he flopped on his back LOL
  • "RELAX!" - Ever

Ho boy, good times. I could so do that again. road trips are so much fun. Man so crazy.  I'm off to pray for forgiveness for the Joel thing...

AHHHH! JOEL!!! JOEL!!! lol


» today was
definitely not a test day. talk about blanking out. and i read everything twice. and made notes like crazy. and i blanked out completely. like couldnt remember anything blank out, not "what was that man's daughter's pet's ripped leg? was it the front right or back right? or was it a left?" i went in there, and im so serious, i had a "puck! i cant remember sith!" blank out. i had to guess... a lot... AND I COULDNT REMEMBER SITH ABOUT THE LECTURES EITHER!!! the fill in the blanks, stayed blanks for the most part (well i put in some stuff that i thought had to do with it. like "environmental cognitive responses" *shrugs hard*). i still cant remember it. my mind went utterly blank, and i panicked.... *sob* *sob* *sob* im in tears. im so blank you could write on me. *sob*

btw talked to kristel last night... all ages show at shannon's on june 5. AND IM DEFINITELY GOING rain or shine, i will be there. screw everything else. i need some time with no schoolwork and no frickin responsibilities.just chillin with my buddies at an inward eye concert... and there's only 16 months till the awesome one-eight! after that i wont have 2 wait for an all age show. i can get into any *party hat on* ...total awesomeness...

Sith im still blank...
» just realized

NYU's 1st game is on the same day as the Green Day concert... the day i also have my test... dammit. now i gotta pick. man... but those season openers are the best games ever cuz everyone's so into them, and they're all playing super hard and everyone shows up cuz its the opening game and it establishes the team's position for the rest of the season. u know how it is. U gotta have the best fan base, the best plays, put on as much pressure as you can to discontrol the other team but maintain your focus... and you gotta win it if you can. or tie. and if you lose, you can't lose by more than one... cuz that wrecks the team's reputation. plus this year its harder cuz they're up to first from fourth. then again, it's GREEN DAY! need i say more???? omg im so confused... any help??


» OLE OLE OLE OLE

so yea. mother's day tomorrow...o wait yesterday lol. boo. lol. went to church sat, had to go buy the crab meat n  salad with jona during the sermon, then we came back, and decorated after church. good times good times. lol yea i know that "parense hermanos" thing was not cool... (in harvey voice: shut up) lol nah is all good. pfft reme said to order pizza but he didnt wanna call. so it didnt get done. we had a watergun fight... in the basement...lol and ele was being all super protective with the balloons (haha dani :D) man good times. um... was in the kitchen with abs on sunday morning making the pasta (alfredo sauce with veggies and crab/shrimp), salad (garden with ranch), and breadsticks (breadsticks).  pyro forgot his glasses at home yesterday. someone said "that's like forgetting your underwear" and reme says "i did that once" (haha) it turned out great. I need that pic from abbie: the one where reme put the candlebowls in his shirt and they looked like boobs, and all the guys are around him "grabbing" them. LOL priceless moments. it took forever to take the pic cuz we were laughing that hard lol. man those guys: sucio! *roger style* lol But maybe we should have a bit more light on next time. tho candlelight is usually the best way to go. The family came over again last night. Yilberito is so big now (a month lol) and he looks like he might have light eyes but not entirely sure yet... romelito is super active, and he's walking. not in the living room cuz he had socks on and isnt very stable yet, but definitely in the bedroom. and hes saying words now *sigh* like: mama, papa, tau tau(means pow pow in portugese), nau, and when pipito(my budgie) came out of his cage, he stuck his finger out and said: venga. omg hes so cute. he loves to dance too, and he likes attention. but then kids at that age tend to do. Its so hard to believe hes a year old now... and he likes me to rub his belly. he'll lie down on the bed and pat his tummy and go "lo lo lo lo" lol. oh harv's brought star wars duel game over and we played til late. that's a good game. harvey won.

BTW: ACLA had their first game of the season yesterday. 7-0 for us. damn i bet that team's feeling humiliated. shout out to the boys.

Next Game:
NYU (1st Division- MMSL):
vs. Eritrean. Tuesday, May 17 @ 7:30PM. Crocus Park: 225 Redonda-Kildare
ACLA (Latin League): TBA


» "Patrick, check it out!" - Spongebob

I posted entries on my "msn spaces". I figure it'll be easier to just copy/paste them to here instead of retyping them. So here they are. check it out. I bought the Spongebob movie too. my fave scene is where patrick and spongebob are touching each other's moustaches. lol "ohhhh.... OHHHH!" Spongebob is the best.

*UNITED* [Apr. 7]Collapse )
» declined???
yea. i was declined. omg was i embarrased. Worst thing is I don't know why?? so much for buying my books...and a cute (and necessary as a backpack)postman bag... and a notebook... and all the other necessary things i need!!!! i feel so ashamed... and broke... not to mention that my savings account i cant spend cuz i promised i wouldnt. i have NO MONEY but for the 20-odd coins and bills in my purse and that store credit from stitches and those gc's... those feel so useless and of no value right now. i could tear them up and not miss them in the least, but in this barter-free society, usefull they are. so depressed...
» hey kristel here's a song

Trying to change things around, but you I can't change.
Every moment I'm not with you you're too far away.
Life takes you from me and leaves me astray.
I'm retreating to my head where everything remains the same:
my head on your shoulder,
my hand in your hand,
me right beside you,
wherever you'd stand;
or flying away
to Paradise Land...
Though I'm yours forever,
it's like water, like sand.
You're my undying mortal, my star-lit sky day...
do you see what it's doing? I'm not thinking straight.
My breathing is choking, my winter's in May,
I hate you, I love you, and you're in my way...
You pop up wherever. I can't get away.
i'm always or seeing or hearing your name.
I'm so lost without you... do you see my pain?
I'm stuck on your roadway, right under your name.
my head on your shoulder,
my hand in your hand,
me right beside you,
wherever you'd stand;
or flying away
to Paradise Land...
Though I'm yours forever,
it's like water, like sand.


» New color
Changed my default text color... I was tyred of having to change the color for my post all the tyme... But now my Music and Mood things aren't pink n don't stand out... dammit....
managed to change the font tho! woo hoo! merlyn is happy!!! marilyn is super exicted cuz her journal is starting to finally look the way she wants is... little by little... *jig time*
» TIME OFF

Due to:

1. Lack of sleep
2. Final Exams
3. Some other third thing :P

This journal will probably not be updated for a couple of weeks. I say that knowing that I'll probably end up posting every other day or so now that I will not have classes but just to be sure. If you guys need to get a hold of me, call my cell: 782-4398. It'll be on 24/7, even if I am not. And it really is the best way to reach me. I still have 15 minutes before class starts and I could really use the time to sleep, research, or just check some other stuff out... unfortunately I am on a MAC... not much help...

Anyways

romulo's leaving tomorrow... no more drywall filler fights... *tears* we had a bbq for him last night at our house. An actual bbq outside with the bbq grill and what not. WOO HOO SUMMER IS HERE!! It was pretty cool... Except that b/c of the time change I had one less hour of sleep than I usually get (and its minimal already) so that kinda suked big time. woo hoo bbq

Friday/Sat was an Indoor Camping thing at church for the kids, my bro was happy... took us to some party store on regent thurs night to get prank stuff to scare the girls... u know april fool's and all of that... all the masks were pretty overpriced so he ended up getting glow in the dark silly string and some spear to poke them in the middle of the night with. I think it worked cuz when I got there Saturday (I slept at home lol) the girls complained bout my pyro-bro. (he takes after you kristel!) I went to help out friday after uni with Liz and found out those kids know how to break dance awesome. alvin, Isaac and my bro did worms and such, and then Deisy starts doing one too. and Becky does the Cryptwalk, and most of them do triple cartwheels, backflips, roundoffs, and then Deisy with the coffee-grinder too... man it was so cool. specially since they're like only 10. I feel so inept...

Class in five minutes so I betta head off.


» *squeak squeak squeak*

lol i had to share it with you guys cuz its funny. Im in the computer lab finishing up an essay and what not... and my mouse begins to squeak... IM SERIOUS. I'm scrolling up to see how much i need and stuff, and it just starts going *squeak squeak squeak squeak* it was so funny. it actually sounds like a real mouse lol!!!. yea... thats it. it was funny i had to share  *ashamed*  .

God i'm so lame lol


» wow...


You Are 24 Years Old



24





Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.



» definitely me


You Know You're Addicted to LotR When...


You start quoting from the movie as part of regular conversation.

You like to tell your mom that you are hungry by quoting: "Merry, I'm hungry."

She used to just laugh, but now she says, "What would you like to eat, Pippin?"

You continually ask your parents for second breakfast.

All the staff at your local cinema knows you by your first name and even before you open your mouth to speak, they say "Ticket for 'Fellowship of The Ring?'"

You hate Burger King food, butyou ate nothing else for a month to get the toys.

You've crammed up your computer's memory by downloading every single screensaver from www.LordoftheRings.net

You wander around the house in a knee length nightie, pyjama trousers and an unfastened dressing gown (to give you a train). You are trying to be an elf, and actually manage to forget that the nightie is blue with dolphins, the trousers have teddies on and the dressing gown is tartan.

Your Lord of the Rings shirt has not yet met the washing machine.

You don't have enough money to buy groceries for the next week before payday, yet you charge £50 on your credit card to get a three year charter membership in the official LOTR fan club. Who needs food anyway?

You refer to parts of your town as parts of Middle-Earth.

You wear hobbitish clothing as part of your normal wardrobe.

You sometimes let your hair go curly after a wash, and then run around the house in bare feet yelling "I'm a hobbit!"

You hate it when Elves are only thought of as 'Santa's little helpers' and have tried to explain the difference between Santa-elves and Syrian Elves to your 5-year old cousins.

You speak in Quenya just to annoy your friends.

You refer to regular elephants as oliphaunts.

While buttering a piece of bread, you suddenly think of Bilbo (remember when he was talking to Gandalf about feeling tired) saying that he felt 'like butter spread over too much bread.'

You renamed your car the Wraith-mobile.

You have a replica of The One Ring.

You are beginning to resemble a panda due to the fact that you've stayed up until 2 am reading and re-reading the great books.

You actually managed to read the Silmarillion without being tempted to give up on this whole middle earth malarkey.

You now have a lifetime fear of black horses!

You haven't removed the soundtrack from your CD player since you bought it.

You have sssudenly developed a hisssing lisssp every time you sssay the letter ssss.

You have looked both on the net and in the phone book to see if archery and sword fighting lessions are offered in your area.

You have begun calling your husband / wife / girlfriend/ boyfriend / animal or kid my precioussss.

You happily traveled over an hour to the next town to see "it" because that theater has a better sound system than the one 5 minutes down the road.

You have called every theatrical or specialty makeup company in town looking for pointy ear or hairy feet prosthetics.

You've worn your plastic "one ring" that came on your Legolas bookmark so much the gold is completely worn off.

You've begun drafting a letter to the Webster's dictionary people requesting that they include "Ringers" in their next edition.

At Christmas time relatives find you chatting with the tree and sharing eggnog draughts

Single ads with the description," short plump and big hairy feet" seem much more appealing.

You know The LoTR history better then your family history.

You have a mouse named Frodo, a bird named Gollum, and a dog named Gandalf. And that cat that keeps coming around to be petted is Legolas.

You know Elvish better then English.

Whenever something goes wrong, it's Sauron's fault.

When you sing in the shower, it's always about Gil-Galad or hobbit walking songs...

You know everything about Middle Earth geography, but you can't get someone from your house to the ice cream parlor. Now the nearest movie theater, that is a different story.

You think the names of the 7 dwarves from Snow White are: Gimli, Oin, Gloin, Thorin, Nori, Ori, and Bombur.

You have developed your own special Tolkien handwriting. "A firm, flowing script..."

Words like "Yrch" make sense to you.

You've become strangely obsessed with mushrooms.

Whenever you close a door, you say "They have a cave troll!"

When you come to a dead end you're still convinced that the road goes ever on and on.

There's a sign on your door saying "Speak Friend and enter!"

Whenever you get a chance, you burst into song. Preferably one that has more than 20 verses.

You change your name by deed poll to a Tolkien character and seriously consider naming your children after LOTR characters.

Every time you see birds in the sky you have the urge to say "Fly you fools!"

When someone knocks on your door you grab them, pull them inside and ask "Are you frightend?... Not nearly frightend enough!"

Your computer's screensaver is a marquee reading, "Ennyn Durin atan Moria: pedo mellon a mino" and the password is actually "mellon".

You cannot see a beer without blurting out "It comes in pints? I'm getting one!"

You just can't keep yourself from saying "nobody tosses a Dwarf" at inappropriate moments.

A shadow and a threat is growing in your mind.

You now referring to your friends as your 'Fellowship' and insist that you have epic adventures.

You stand in the doorway and tell your cat that he 'Can not pass'.

You wash your face in the sink and expect to see things that are, that have been or that will be.

Your wedding band has started to weigh you down with it's evil powers.

Spending $35 at the grocery store seems expensive but its Perfectly fine to spend $70 on the Hardcover LOTR book with Alan Lee Illustrations.

You start keeping a LOTR Journal to write poems and inklings in.

You face every difficult decision with the thought "now what would Gandalf advise me to do?"

You know what Entmoot, Ent draught, or an Ent is for that matter

You've gained 20 pounds because you've started eating a "Second Breakfast"

A walking stick... you never leave home with out it.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Lord of the Rings.






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LOL as a result of this last one, my journal will be undergoing some changes soon... as soon as I finish my second breakfast...
» dbz fans...
You Know You're Addicted to Dragonball Z When...

You can recite every word of the original Japanese DBZ episodes/movies by heart.

You claim to be an expert on the Japanese language, then get kicked out of Japan on your vacation because all you knew how to do was insult people.

You scream, beg, whine, plead for your parents to order the (expensive!!) Dragon Ball Z games for your Playstation, then when all else fails you threaten to do a Big Bang and blow up the planet.

You're convinced the Dragon Balls DO exist, and you begin saving up your allowance to go on a quest to find them.

You stand outside screaming "NIMBUS!!" at night (after all, you wouldn't want to embarass your parents by doing it during the day, would you?)

You instantly pummel ANYONE who says Vegeta has a receeding hairline.

You take a martial arts class and ask the instructor when Gregory andd Bubbles will be arriving, then pout and demand to speak to King Ki.

You check every morining to see if you've sprouted a tail.

You buy a plastic toy sword, strap it to your back, and tell anyone who asks that Tabion the Brave gave it to you, then look at them like they're crazy when they ask who that is.

You freak out when you have chicken-pox / measels because you think that all that pink skin means you're turning into Frieza.

You suddenly become a vegetarian and eat nothing but carrots, rice, and other vegetables.

You secretly try to grow Senzu Beans and believe you are succeeding.

You ended up in the hospital because you severely injured your muscles trying to do a Ginyu pose.

You make yourself a perfect replica of Saiyan armour for Halloween.....then refuse to take it off.

You've actually convinced your friends that you met the Dragon Ball Gang last night for drinks.

You name your cat Karin, and nod wisely whenever it meows at you.

You've almost popped a vein in your forehead trying to will yourself to fly.

You learned to use a computer just so you could look at all those neat DBZ pictures.

You then refer to your computer desk as you "Capsule Corp. Lab".

You know that Vegeta and all the other DBZ characters would find you supremely cool and want to hang out with you.

You refuse you go near your freezer.

You refer to your mom as Chichi (when she isn't within earshot).

You're famous throughout your city for the time when you actually tried to stop a bank robbery with your Kamehameha (and maybe your actually succeeded!)

You failed biology class because of your diagram of a Cell.

Whenever there's a severe storm, you nod wisely and say, "Someone's calling the Dragon...."

You can actually spout off a surprising number of phrases in Japanese.

You've gotten up a five a.m. every morning just to watch the replay of the DBZ episode that was on yesterday....even though you already saw it ten times!

During full moons you stand outside screaming until you pass out.

Even if you're in high school and you're a girl, your parents still shop for your birthday and Christmas presents in the same aisle that they shop in for your little eight-year-old brother....the action figure aisle.

You took home ec. class because you were determined to become a better cook than Chichi.

You took sewing class to learn how to make a cuddly little Vegeta plush toy.

You blast down anyone who insults your Saiyan pride.

When you laugh, you say, "Kameha-ha-ha-ha!"

You burst into tears when a character, ANY character dies, regardless of Dragon Ball Availability

You almost drowned because you stood in the path of an approaching tidal wave, convinced that your Genki Dama summouned it to you

You giggle hysterically when you're told to eat your vegetables.

You begged, pleaded, bribed, and finally beat the crap out of your younger brother for his Burger King Piccolo DBZ toy, and you don't even LIKE Piccolo

You lose sleep over wondering about Frieza's sexual orientation, possibly due to nightmares

You *try* to wrap yourself around your computer, purring contentedly whenever a dbz related download finishes

Your thumbs are sore, cracked, and bleeding but you finally managed to beat DB Ultimate Battle 22 without dying ONCE!

You attacked the guy at the hardware store who looks like Nappa and almost gave him a concussion in your excitement to demand where Vegeta was

You've gotten kicked out of church for standing up in the middle of a funeral and yelling "HEY!!! LET'S JUST GO GET THE DRAGON BALLS!!"

You're convinced that Japan actually has a secret fourth DB series, and they just aren't sharing

You're ALSO convinced that you hold the potential to create another DB series if only Toriyama would return your phone calls

You went into shock when they introduced Frieza's family, then immediately began putting in calls to Jerry Springer about lipstick wearing midgets with english, uncaring giant fathers

You're almost convinced yourself your toaster could POSSIBLY have been made by Dr Gero and therefore has android possibility

Deathly sick and exhausted, you STILL managed to chase down, in the rain, after four hours the dog who ran off with your Kuririn action figure

You spend hours making a power pole in your woodshop class

You watch the weather channel for signs of nimbuses

You believe it's possible to focus your ki into a deadly blast if you really wanted to, but are just too exhausted from all the "Powering Up And Customary Screaming" you've done that day

You made little score cards to hold up during the fight scenes

You try to fuse with your friends.

You try to shoot your teacher with a Big Bang Attack.

You jump off of buildings and try to fly.

You eat rice every night...at a mad speed.

You test your powers out on your little sister.

You dress in red pants with an red shirt every day.

You dye your hair yellow and claim your Super Saiyan.

You scream at people you don't like and then try to blast them.

You only answer to the DBZ name of your choice.

You hate Dende.

You spend hours try ing to use the "instant transmission" and only end up with two finger prints on your forehead.

You strap a piece of colored glass over you left eye and laugh at everyone, telling them what pathetic power levels they have.

You start wearing weighted clothing in order to increase you power level.

You plan to name your son Gohan.

You plan to name your daughter Pan.

You throw fisbees at people and yell "distructo disc."

You draw a "third" eye on your forehead.

You shave your head and put six little dots on your forehead.

You spike your hair and dye it yellow.

You go to the zoo and yell insults at all the monkeys.

When you have a problem you think "what would Goku (Gohan, Vegita...) do."

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Dragonball Z.



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» so...

I think its tyme for a haircut. Or mebe not a whole haircut but just a trim... and a dye maybe too... i unno... what u guys think???


» (No Subject)

hey y'all! how y'all been! so I havent posted in how long now? 10 days? well ima make this one a short one cuz there's not much to tell. I've been experiencing a lot of changes and so far theyve been for good. And I'm so excited about them like you have no idea. Its really hard to explain. its kinda like one of those things that you have to experience to understand? Just wanna let you all know that I love you SO MUCH and i REALLY want all of you to be happy. Genuinely happy. so happy that nothing can take away what you feel. I've been thinking about you guys more than ever... about how special you guys are to me, but more about how special you guys are for God. and how He more than me wants you to be filled with joy and prospered in everything you put your hands to.

Guys I also want to ask all of you to forgive me for the hurtful things I've said and done to each of you, for the thoughts that have come to my head, the lies I've said, everything. All of you are such an important part of my life and I'm sorri that I've hurt you. I might not have realized i was doing it at the time but thats no excuse. I'm sorri. I love you.

On a completely unrelated topic, Im takin psych and socio in the spring, so if anyone wants to sell me a book, id be extremely grateful. :D

Luv you!


» q6!
on msn. looks good. anyone wanna go for the grand prize with me????
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